Am I a goddess or what?

Yesterday, after I took Codie for the final fitting of her wedding gown, I took her down to Kohl's to find her a dress for her big brother's wedding. (He's getting married a week before Codie.) As we checked out, Codie pointed to a line on my receipt: "Senior Citizen Discount." I blinked. Hard. I couldn't protest; that would be like saying, "No, I want to pay more money for this dress!" As we got outside, Codie laughed outright and I moped. "Geh. Do I look especially bad or tired or something today?"

Then, even though it was only 4:00 p.m., I suggested dinner. We'd both skipped lunch. "The only course of action in this situation," I said, "is to go for the Early Bird dinner at IHOP." Codie cracked up. Neither Corey nor my friend Jonathan will eat at IHOP because "it's just for old people." Codie and I love it. So with Corey out of town, this was our shot. We were the first people to arrive for the evening meal, so we got lots of service. When we finished our meal, the waitress brought the check, and I put my debit card in the folder. Codie pointed to one of the signs hanging from the ceiling - showing attractive, active seniors having their discount dinner at IHOP between 3:00 and 6:00 p.m. - and she says, "Hope you get your discount, Mom." Just then, our waitress returned and she said, "Is something the matter." (I imagine I looked a tiny bit disgrunted.) I said, "Oh, she's making fun of me for being a senior." And the waitress says, "I'm so sorry! I'll correct your check!" And when she came back with my card and receipt, she had sure enough given us the Early Bird Two-for-One Special. I almost burst into tears. Codie laughed so hard she got the hiccups.

I think this was all payback karma for telling Codie the alterations ladies in David's thought she was pregnant.

So today, since it's rainy and miserable, Jonathan and I went to one of the restaurants in our building for lunch: Bosco's. We decided to be daring and try something besides our "usuals." He got the black bean and goat cheese tamale. I ordered the muffaletta. I devoted some of our lunch chat to pondering the meaning of getting two senior discounts in one day. When our waitress returned with our check at the end of the meal, she looked at me and said, "Did you eat that whole sandwich?" And I said, "Sure." I mean, dang! I paid for it; I'm eating it! And she says, "Ohmygawd. No one has ever eaten the whole thing before!"

I'm not just old. I'm an old hog. When we got back to our office, Jonathan thoughtfully sent me this link: http://www.ifoce.com/records.php